I missed this on Twitter. Jesus. And Wil. I want so badly to keepyou as my hero. I haven’t unfollowed you on Twitter, yet, but boy am I glad I unfollowed you on Tumblr. You really need to understand that if you don’t want to be a dick, you have to maintain an awareness of your own privilege.
Very disappointed too. Kameron Hurley wrote an awesome take on this - worth a read.Rage Doesn’t Exist in a Vacuum, or: Understanding the Complex Continuum of Internet Butt-Hurt*
"To show you know not-offended you should be, I will call your pain butt-hurt which is literally a rape joke that has been normalized and made socially acceptable. If you get mad you are proving my point"
Yo, fuck these dudes forever
Wil has done a couple things recently to drastically lower my opinion of him and they seem to be related to being called out. Like, mostly he is really good with social justice stuff and his “don’t be a dick” rule but every now and then his privilege shows through. I haven’t unfollowed him anywhere yet because I keep waiting for him to improve but he hasn’t yet. I had no idea Rothfuss has a similar mindset. It’s disappointing.
One more month.
Nothing more awkward than putting a dish in while ya mom washing dishes
@TreMelvin - Black And White Stereotypes: Part II
OMG BUT I HAVE LIKE FIRST HAND ACCOUNTS OF THIS
hmm ok well
Im so sorry, how come you didn’t tell people sooner? I’m sure you told friends and stuff but like if you didn’t like it you could have gone to the police maybe or something? Idk
because it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t my fault ok i blamed myself for a very long time i figured there must’ve been something wrong with me if i wasn’t enjoying it because so many girls my own age would’ve fucking killed to be where i was and i had to put it to the back of my mind for a long time because it was so shameful and i didn’t want to admit to anyone that was skeptical of our relationship that maybe i’d been wrong and stupid and now years down the road i’ve had a lot of time to think about it and i’ve learned a lot more about sexual abuse and i started to really understand and line up the events
I met Olga in 2010 at VidCon. She was a very smart, very clever, very cool young woman. I thought it was weird (but kinda cool) that Tom had found a cool fan who could hold her own with a bunch of the top-tier VidCon folks and let her behind the curtain a little bit.
It never occurred to me that it would become more than that. And though I knew Olga remained part of that social sphere, I had no inkling that they had become a couple. I am horrified and extremely disappointed in myself that I was not able to realize that this was happening and put a stop to it…maybe even before it started.
I won’t comment on the specifics of this relationship because that isn’t my place. But the more fact that it existed infuriates me…sexual relationships need to be equitable and they can’t be when people are in dramatically different life stages or when one person enters the relationship as a fan of another.
I haven’t said anything about this today because I just don’t know what to say. Tom was my friend. I looked up to him…I trusted him. I am furious…that’s all I can feel right now.
My only consolation is that I honestly believe these issues are coming to light in this community not because they are more common, but because we are more empowered to speak out and not hide from or cover them up.
And that’s excellent, because you cannot fix a problem if you do not face a problem.
I share Hank’s disappointment. (It’s not clear in Hank’s post, but he is referring to credible accusations concerning the musician and YouTuber Tom Milsom.)
I don’t know how to feel about this stuff except sad and angry, but I want to be public about my sadness and anger, because I don’t want to let this go unacknowledged.
I’ve written and deleted thousands of words about this today, and I’m grateful to Hank for saying most of what I wanted to say. Consenting adults: Go forth and do all the things! But the abuse of power we seem to see regularly in these manipulative fan/creator relationships is reprehensible and unacceptable. We are working hard to make sure that events we plan and endorse are as safe and secure as possible.
On a professional note, we continue to have a zero tolerance policy for abusive behavior by artists whose work is distributed by DFTBA Records, so his music is no longer for sale at DFTBA.
reblog if you are into bondage or if you like french fries